10 Things Never to Say to a Girl

They say it’s a very tricky job to grab what’s there in a girl’s mind. It’s hard to predict what she demands from you; be it understanding her state of mind, her wants and needs, her expectations or the amount of care you owe to her, whatever the case maybe. You need to be peculiar about the ways of treating her. Furthermore, you need to pay attention to what should be said or not said too. Some words uttered can be troublesome for you, following are the 10 things never to be said to a girl

10. Never ask her to pay the bill;

As far as the norms have taught me, ‘There is one abiding rule when it comes to it-the person who requests for the pleasure, pays for the pleasure’- David Miller. So attractive women expect men to pay for their bills because they’re just ‘worth it’. You’re not enough of a gentleman if you are unaware of the fact that you are the one who has to pay; that’s what she has in her mind, so if you don’t want to ‘spoil’ it; just pay it.

9. Never ask her to keep your secret;

Yes! She’s the one who can spread your word around with the speed of light, specifically when you ask her not to. Even if she tells her BFF only, the job is done efficiently by the latter. She’s quite good at it, better not take a risk!

8. Never to ask her about her depressing mood;

It can be very strenuous to understand a girl’s mind. If you question her reason of her miserable temperament, you need to prepare yourself to make a million attempts to take it out of her. Once revealed you’re not allowed to confront her point of views or else the argument initiates. Let alone that one reason for it, heaps and heaps of other traumatizing information is delivered too. By the end of it the sadness reciprocates in you and you feel like you’ve taken one hell of a ride!

7. ‘I think you should join a gym’, not a good idea.

Naturally girls, in most cases, are never satisfied with their bodies. Practically, she herself would want to go to a gym, but if a guy suggests her to do so, a bad option it is and it generally leads to an argument.

6. Praise someone else, it’s your bad day!;

If you want to keep her laughing and in a cheerful mood, better not praise another girl in front of her or else get ready to see the frown on her face. Every girl (mostly) in a way wants her to be the center of attention for her guy and that she’s the best for him. Keep all her positives in your mind so that you avoid admiring someone else. If you want to, be witty enough to praise your girl in a better way right away!

5. I promise: never to be said!

Promise her something, if you don’t keep it; welcome yourself to hell! When you say that, make sure that you will be able to fulfill your words (mostly you can’t), or sharpen up your abilities of never getting caught. A promise is what she would remember for the rest of her life, if broken, you’re just not worth it; she would never believe you again and it would be brought up as a pointer in every future quarrel.

4. ‘Are you sure that looks good on you?’ better not say that;

generally girls don’t like that question being asked. Even if it is swallowed in as a joke; she would give it thinking. Mostly she’s quite careful about her dressing and accessories; therefore any pessimistic comment would end up making her ‘touchy’ about it. So it’s a complete no-no.

3. ‘I think I’ve seen you somewhere’: it’s a well-known dialogue to her;

Well even if you HAVE seen her somewhere, avoid expressing it to her; she won’t take it literal and would tick the ‘he’s hitting on me’ box in her head right away.

2. Never tell her you love her unless you actually do;

‘I love you’ are ‘the words’ which every girl wants to hear in her life at least once. Once she does, she pumps up her expectations to higher levels and doesn’t wish to be thrown down the staircase. Customarily, she gets serious and expects the bond to last forever, so make sure you zip up your mouth until you’re not sure about it. An ‘I love you’ expressed earlier, before either of the gender has properly processed the feelings, could end it all up because as soon as it is said the entire dimension is changed.

1. Never ever criticize Edward Cullen or Damon Salvatore!

You do it and you open a gateway to hell. A mammoth majority of girls are fanatical about these two characters. You do that and you might just be throttled! Mention either of them and you will find them head over heels. So better not risk your neck for showing your not-so-fond-of-them attitude because they are going to be crazy for them, no matter how many sensible arguments you put forward: a complete wastage of time it will be!

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Top 10 Most Difficult Tongue Twisters

When you are quite bored and you want to do something to pass the time, which may be different from playing video games or spending some time with Facebook, then conquering one of your less explored skills could really keep you entertained. For instance, practicing your speed talking talents by mastering or trying some of the hardest tongue twisters you could ever find. If you are up to the challenge, then you may take a shot on the 10 of the most difficult and most tongue twisting twisters you could ever come across with, even for just three consecutive times. Are you game?

10. Slit a Sheet but don’t say Sh*t!

I slit a sheet, a sheet I slit.

And on a slitted sheet I sit.

I slit a sheet, a sheet I slit.

The sheet I slit, that sheet was it.

9. Are you tutoring a tooter?

A tutor who tooted a flute,

Tried to tutor two tooters to toot.

Said the two to their tutor,

“Is it harder to toot

or to tutor two tooters to toot?”

8. The skunk on the stump stinks!

A skunk sat on a stump.

The stump thunk the skunk stunk.

The skunk thunk the stump stunk.

7. The witch did what with the watch?

Which witch wishes to switch a witch wristwatch for a Swiss wristwatch?

6. A three-toed toad that lives in a tree!

A three-toed toad loved a two-toed he-toad that lived in a too-tall tree.

5. Did you bet for One-one or Two-two?

One-one was a racehorse.

Two-two was one too.

When One-one won one race,

Two-two won one too.

4. Is it your Joe or our Joe that has a banjo?

Our Joe wants to know if your Joy will lend our Joe your Joy’s banjo.

If your Joy won’t lend our Joe your Joy’s banjo,

Our Joe won’t lend your Joy our Joe’s banjo,

When our Joe has a banjo!

3. Are you plucking pheasants for fun?

I’m not the pheasant plucker,

I’m not the pheasant plucker’s son.

And I’m only plucking pheasants,

Till the pheasant pluckers come!

2. Fischer is a young fisher… got that?

There was a young fisher named Fischer,

Who fished for a fish in a fissure.

The fish with a grin, pulled the fisherman in;

Now they’re fishing the fissure for Fischer.

1. Is the sheik sick or the sixth sheep?

The sixth sick sheik’s sixth sheep’s sick.

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Funniest Homeless Signs Ever

We must never make fun or laugh on poor or homeless people but you can’t really help it when these homeless people use funny signs to attract people’s’ attention towards themselves for money. Below are 21 Funniest Homeless Signs you’ll ever find:

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10 Most Funny iPhone Text Message Fails

This is one of the most hilarious post on this blog, many of you had used iPhone and familiar with the function “autocorrect” to automatically correct the spelling and grammar mistakes but it was very annoying sometimes that you had to turn it off in order to send text message, Following are some funny pictures of Autocorrect Fails and Weird SMS conversation, Look how one word can change the whole sentence..!

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10 Funniest Talk like a Pirate Day Jokes

Talk like a Pirate Day is a yearly parody of the way pirates talked. The linguistics has always been thought to be quite funny, and it has certainly perked the attention of so many people across the global arena. The annual event does not revere the acts of piracy, but rather mocks the way pirates speak and talk. From Australia to Canada, and in Europe, as well, the words and terms of pirates are now the subject of fun and entertainment. Jokes on pirates seem to be the most popular on this day, and here are some of the ten funniest Talk like a Pirate Day Jokes.


10.  Using Arrr

“Did you hear about the top three jokes? Arrr… What kinds o’ socks a pirate wears? Arrr…..Arggyle…  Arrr seems to be a favorite for many pirates and the best jokes always end or start with it”.


9.  A pirate movie


“The new pirate movies great!!, is it PG rated? Well, its rated Arrrrgh!!!”


8.  Tax Relief for the pirates


“What is the name of the tax office for pirates? It’s the AYE!  ARRR! S!”


7.  Drivin’ your nuts


“A pirate walks insider a bar, and most notice that he has this ships wheel attached t the front of his trousers. A barman asks him, “what’s the wheel of the ship for”, and the pirate replies “Well, I ain’t sure about it, but it sure as hell as drivin’ me nuts”

6.  Walkin’ the plank


“How long is the pirates plank usually? Aye! Me Boy! It’s only a yarrrd!”


5. Buccaneers! Where are you?


“On a Halloween night, a little boy is out for trick or treats all by his lonesome. Dressed as a pirate, he passes by one house where a friendly question was asked, “Where’s your buccaneers, young lad”, and he simply responds, “found on both sides of me ‘buccan’ head!”

4.  The Prostitute 

“A pirate was walking along the dock, he wants to call a prostitute, what does he call here? A Hook arrrrrrrr!!!!!


3. Shit on my pants


“On a battle at sea with a pirate ship, the Naval Captain asks for his red shirt. After winning it, he was asked, “Sir, what was the red shirt for”, he answered“, it was to give you guys courage in case I was injured and you would not see my blood”. Gratified, the soldiers admired him. On the next day, ten pirate ships attacked, the Captain yelled, “Give me my brown pants!”


2. The Grading System
 
“Why kinds of grades would pirates get at school? Well, what else!! High Seas!!”


1.  Hook me Eye


“A pirate sits on the bar, and a guy gets so intrigued he asked him several questions“. What happened to your leg, sir?” asked the man, the pirate replies, “Well, matey, I lost it to a shark”. The man beside the pirate then asks again “How about that hook on the hook on your arm”. Again, the pirate replied “Oh yes sirree!!  Those naval armies certainly had me goin’”. Then he asks, “The eye patch? Was it also part of the naval battle?” “Damn that seagull”“, A bird took out your eye!??” “Arrr!!! He pooped and shit in my eye, and it was me first time with me hook!”

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